Sometimes you’ve got to give in to win

 

I must confess the truth.

Leaving Chicago has been the best decision I’ve ever made in my life.

I tried. I really did try to make it work. I gave myself completely to the demands of the city. I worked overnights, double shifts, all for minimum wage. Tried to mold myself to fit in to the different social groups – the comic, the newsmaker, the socialite, the designer, the athlete. I couldn’t find my niche, my people. I was never good enough to be first rank, always second at best.

I have never felt lower about myself and my worth than when I lived in Chicago. I worked for some pretty talentless, rude, and idiotic people. It still amazes me how some of the people I answered to were in their positions of power.

I told myself the struggle was normal, that it would pass. But you know what? That’s bullshit. Young professionals should NOT be killing themselves over their jobs. It is not fair, nor okay, for their bosses to say that their over-the-top sacrifices are necessary for the good of the company or the good of the team. Never should a person feel so low as I have felt and be okay with that. It is NOT okay. It is NOT okay to work for a company, a boss, or a department that allows you to feel empty, alone, exhausted, frustrated, un-appreciated, under paid, and damaging your personal life.

Young professionals are NOT brats, selfish, or lazy for standing up for what is right & deserved: good mental health, a challenging yet balanced work environment, and respect from their peers & bosses.

I left Chicago because it was a do or die situation. I made excuses for my misery. Luckily for me, I was challenged by someone I love to either do or die. I chose do. And while it’s been challenging on my pocket book, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I am finally standing up for what I deserve. I am finally doing what I’m passionate about, even if it means cutting my livelihood in half. It’s amazing how much more you enjoy life when you aren’t dreading about doing something uninspired for 8+ hours of your day.

If anyone ever needs to talk to someone about hating their job, hating their path, being depressed, lost, confused, alone, frustrated. I’m your girl. Even though I’m free from my big city demons, I’m still challenged each day to continue discovering who I am and what path I’m on. So, I’m not completely put together & all knowing. But, I can empathize. I can listen. I can try to help others feel that they do have options, albeit different than what they may be comfortable with at first, but worthwhile in the longterm.

And hey, maybe one day I’ll lay out all my grievances about particular individuals & employers, because wouldn’t that be juicy & funny? But for now, I’m going to keep giving in to my wants and desires and ya know, just keep on winning.

Post inspiration brought to you by the song “Sunshine” by Atmosphere:

Times They Are A-Changin’

After 20 months at WGN Radio, I am moving my “concentrations elsewhere.” That is, I was offered a full-time retail management job, and I can’t keep both my full-time hours + scheduled shifts at ‘GN. Something had to give.

This isn’t me giving up on my dreams of writing, of educating, of informing. Life is funny sometimes. It gives you opportunities when you least expect them. It gives you hardships when you least want them. It makes you question your path and yourself more than your nagging parents & elderly neighbors.

But, this choice is what is right for me, right now, in this moment of my 24-year-old life. It may not be what’s right for you, and if so, that’s cool. Just don’t tell me that. Keep it to yourself. No one wants to hear your opinions anyways. Especially me. I’m hard enough on myself as it is.

So, you won’t be hearing me on Sundays with Frank Fontana or Patti Vasquez, unless I’m filling in of course. Which I hope they still invite me back to do, when I’m able.

But, you will be reading more of my writing. With the new job comes new hours which means more free time to explore and develop my other passions. It’s going to be pretty awkward and pretty awful at first. Hell, maybe even the first year will be an absolute train wreck, but fuck it, I’m going to give it a damn good honest try.

So here’s to the next 20 months of learning, educating and informing. Who knows? Maybe I’ll be a blockbuster hit by then. Or, an excellent failure.